::Sweet Write - Three Sided War::

Attached physically by the weakness of this flesh that I carry.

Controlled by the strings of lust that are tied to carnal desires. But confusion lies within these emotional ties that stem from habitual activity and without logical discretion.

Undressing of this flesh turns into a vulnerability of the 7 pounds within my chest that I continue to ignore like loves persistent bill collector. But honestly, who am I to express longing when the rationale of conversations undiscussed come to mind. We forever remain bodies that lay and souls unattached by means of unspoken agreement. Accepting of this arrangement from the first intertwine of limbs and denial of a heart's incessant longing.

Brain waves that cancel out all relational options, seeking logic over emotion divided by multiple orgasmic crescendos of desirable conveniences. "Us" is never a considerable topic of discussion. Forever remaining in the gray area of uncertainty's purgatory.



The three sided war.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

::Sweet Actualities - The Curse of The Gray Area::

Some people would rather remain in the gray area of mediocrity than commit to greatness...

Why do we set limitations on ourselves, what we can do, and our relationships? I guess more recently, I have been setting limitations on how I can grow relationship wise...

From a young woman's standpoint, we at times accept whatever we are given. Therefore denying our own worth and our inevitable advancement as young women. More specifically, we put ourselves in these "Gray Areas" of relationships. Not defining what or who we are to certain people. In turn, this allows people to treat us however they feel... And we have no right to complain because we let them. We give others permission to mistreat us.

Is it a lack of confidence in ourselves? Morals and values? Why is it that we take what we are given instead of setting a standard and having others rise to the occassion of our respect and greatness?

Recently, I had to take a stand. I refuse to accept less than what I deserve. There are things that I want for my life that can not be changed by settling for the beliefs and needs of others.

I choose to be selfish from now on... I may have to let some people go and readjust relationships but that's what it takes to make a difference in my life and the lives of others.

We have to take the initiative to change and break the stereotypes and "generational curses" that we have made for ourselves. No one will respect us as young, successful women if we don't respect ourselves first. Of course that seems so cliche but it's real rap.

Letting someone have relationship benefits but not the commitment is not love. Nor is it acceptable.

Conforming to the belifs, ideals and opinions of others to make them feel comfortable and deny ourselves is not love. Nor is it acceptable.

Allowing somene to continually treat you in a regard that is less than what you deserve is not love. Nor is it acceptable.

Staying in a personal or professional situation for monetary gain, benefit, or overall advancement does not make us any better than the next person trying to "get over". Nor is it acceptable.

We have been complacent long enough. Are we really satisfied with these self-induced "Gray Areas"? I'll say that I am not happy with it. When you're not happy about something, what do you do? Make a change.

I encourage you to do the same.

And to those young men who may possibly read my blog, Do yourselves a favor by rising to the occassion. You get back what you put out. If you continue pass over the good ones because you've become accustomed to the curse of the gray area, you have no one to blame but yourself when you end up in an "unsavory situation".

Get to know young ladies for who they are, their trophies of emotional war, and the goals that she holds on to for dear life. We as young women are more than our bodies. We are more than being objects of your fickle lust and desires and sometimely emotion.

There's nothing wrong with courting and dating in the proper realm for the pursuit of a woman's love and affection. If it is to be won easily, you've lost the battle for yourself in the long run...

And on that note, I advise and support change. Save yourself before others lead you to a tragic internal defeat of self-value.

Much love,

Charrise Renee

::Sweet Truth - Where Do Our Intentions Stand::

What are the root reasons why we deliberately do the things that we do? Sometimes truth is hard to find within the overall perspective... Or maybe it isn't.

Chrisette Michele does a great job of exemplifying her truth and making us see our own from time to time. Recently, she made a very poignant post on her blog regarding an incident at a recent award show where Rick Ross allegedly walked out of the show in response to losing an award.

"...I pray with every song I sing I'm singing from the bottom of my heart. If all we want is an award for telling our truths, then we really have no true reason. This isn’t a competition. This is a stage for self expression and I’m grateful for the opportunity to live on it. I’d sing even if nobody sang along...."

I question our generation's authenticity. Why do we portray ourselves in such ways that are inauthentic and un-genuine? Why do we thrive on ignorance and strive for recognition? Why is it that we cannot pursue our purpose; adding value to the world and lives of others? Is that not sufficient enough?

We have won before the race has even began. But I guess nowadays, the medal holds more importance than the actual race. The journey to get to the recognition. The lives that were touched along the way. Who we transitioned into because of that pursuit...

We lack values and morals... No code of ethics among ourselves. Our pursuits stem from selfish intentions. It ills me to say that I am a part of such a mass of people. I guess that's why I take it upon myself to be different. Not for the sake of the supposed "recognition" and "accolades".

There are too many instances where we as a generation judge others before judging ourselves.We take responsibility for nothing and take credit for everything. Glorifying THINGS and not being satisfied with self. We shine a light on the imperfections of others before turning the mirror on ourselves to view and correct our own faults. It seems as if we have some major generational insecurity issues, right? Another post, another day...

 WE ARE NOT PERFECT

We are uniquely made with divine purpose. These "celebrities" are just regular people who are given a broader platform to display their purpose... If they so choose. Then there are others who use said platform for selfish, self glorifying reasons. Big, fat SMH to those of them that live with those, ahem, intentions.

"I make music for the hood. To tell the story of where we come from. My music is the definition of the struggle and the hustle. I do this for those that are mute and have no voice.."


Which really means:

"I make music to tell my own story so that I'll sell records and get a grammy. Then from there I'll get even more recognition and forget about my hood."

Right? Right.

But this is more than music. This is more than the entertainment industry. This is PEOPLE and INTENTIONS in the broadest sense of the subject at hand. Where do your intentions lie and what value are you adding to this world of infinite possibility and influence?



To put it bluntly, Get Ya Sh*t Together.



And that's said with much love, as always....


C. Renee



Chrisette Michele
Photo Credit: Dion Jefferies for
Immaculate Perception Photography
Taken at The Kristol Blake Salon & Spa
Chrisette Michele Meet & Greet
11/12/10

 

::Sweet Check-In - Continuing The #BeautifulCrusade::

When you let go of FEAR and fly on FAITH, good things happen in abundance!

I alomost let them get me... I almost let them keep me away from my greatness. What THEY say and what THEY think almost had a death grip hold on me and my success. But I had to make the decision to take full control and responsibility for my own success!

I am so happy to have a strong confidence in myself and my purpose. My God-given abilities are more than enough! This past month has been OUTSTANDING and I'm making strides in the pursuit of my goals. I aspire to inspire others to move mountains and do the same.

When we live in a world of contentment and comfortability, our vision gets blurred and mediocrity becomes the norm. It took me getting out of my comfort zone COMPLETELY to see the changes that I initially envisioned for myself.

Don't get me wrong, I have had my trials and I will continue to face and overcome adverse circumstances. That's all an integral part of this #BeautifulCrusade. Going into this, I knew it'd be a challenge but there is always a great outcome in the midst of unfavorable situations. I promise ;-D

Writing this at this moment, I'm putting some things in perspective and I'm so grateful for the way things have turned out thus far....

You know what... I'm going to fast. (Random! lol)

From right now up until the day before Thanksgiving (11/24/10) I'm going to fast from meat. I'm going to do fruits, vegetables and water up until then... Yea... That's what I'll do.

Sometimes we have to step back and re-dedicate ourselves to His will for us and grow closer in spirit. I have learned so much about myself thus far. I'm so excited and eager to see what comes next.

Don't be afraid to pursue your heart's desire. What THEY say has no affect on what YOU do. You are more than capable of doing any and everything. It takes the faith of a mustard seed and confidence in what you've been divinely given.

Don't let them take that away from you...

Much Love,
C. Renee

::Sweet Friendships - Analyzing Relationships for the Sake of Sanity and Success::

What do our friendships say about who we are? Birds of a feather build nests of the same twigs, sticks and dirt together...

Looking on my current position, I'd say it's essential that I have a strong circle of friendship and support. And I will say that I have some great people backing me on my goals and dreams. They help me put things in perspective as well as keep me on my toes. These great people have gone above and beyond and I am very appreciative for their kindness in that aspect.

However, there are times when our ideals and personalities clash in ways that cannot be ignored. This is natural being that not everyone is the same. How do we preserve the core values of the friendship without letting opinions and personalties get in the way?

I've been tested a few times in the past couple weeks in situational friendships. Tested where I either don't have the same beliefs, values, or opinions as my counterparts. It gets frustrating when you're firmly committed to your goals and grounded in your ideals and, in turn, someone tries to force what they feel or believe on you. Friendships are supposed be built on a level of respect and cammraderie. What happens when those things fall apart or begin to shift?

In another aspect, I've been continually faced with the battle of being a friend to someone who isn't such a great friend to myself and others. Of course, in this light, the obvious answer would be to end the relationship correct? Or approach this situation in a non-confrontational manner. This tends to be hard when people have the tendency to be defensive or possess the inability to take constructive criticism well. It's like an inevitable tug-o-war of hearts, minds, and pride. No winner to be found amidst the three.

This all feels like I'm rambling and not making much sense... I may or may not be. Situations like these give me headaches. Mostly when I see things in mutliple friendships that I do not agree with. I do not like the person that I am becoming by choosing to continually associate with certain people and pursue friendships with empty meaning. I will say that in times like these, I tend to distance myself from everyone.

Especially now.

My goals take precedence and I'm committed to making things happen. A lot of people talk and plan about what they will do but never get around to action because the talking gets in the way.

Here is where I seperate the talkers from the doers.

::Sweet Relief - Why I Quit My Job::

What is life if you don't act on your freedom and right to make your own decisions and live life how you PURPOSELY intend to live it?

It's been so long since I've last posted but as you all know, I've been going through a transition and still transitioning. Per my previous tweets and blog posts, I was going through a trying time at my job where I was not satisfied. I felt like I was not valued as not just an employee with considerable talent but I was not valued as a person period. It's like I was easily replaceable. Who wants to feel like that?

I would go on my lunch breaks and cry in misery. My spirit felt disrupted and uneasy, deeply disliking my work environment and the owner whom I worked for. He has a lack of respect, value and consideration for people. When there's a disconnect with overall management, there's a trickle down effect in the office environment and staff. Low employee morale, lack of coworker cammraderie, ethics, etc...

For the past two months I have been contemplating my purpose. Like, really praying about what the plan for my life is and what it is that I SHOULD be doing with my time here on this Earth as opposed to just existing in this "career" where I was not happy. i also sought out counsel and advice from my closest friends as well as took it upon myself to ask questions of people in my position or working for themselves and successful. I learned from the awesome Rehema Stephens that change is hard but necessary. She also told me not to fear anything but be prepared for any and everything. Provision will be made for those who are deeply rooted in Him...

 I think what kept me from a decision for so long was fear. Fear of the unknown, instability, criticism, etc... But I had to learn that my FAITH had to be ten times bigger than my fear...

So, I quit... (Yeah, I said it.)

The day I put in my two week's notice, I had the best night's sleep EVER! I checked the mail and saw my inevitable bills and thought about the lack of funds to cover those bills, and I was ok with that. I know deep in my heart that I will be just fine. Of course, I have been and will continue to be tested on a daily basis, but that is to be expected when you take a giant leap of FAITH and fly on autopilot with no wings... It takes some audacity about yourself (Word up to Coach Jennie from the block ;-D)

Beginning on October 1st, I set out the pursuit of what I call the #BeautifulCrusade. I define that as my journey to pursue my purpose and passion. I am now a full time Social Media Marketing and Professional Services Consultant as well as motivational speaker. Best decision I could have ever made. I love what I do with all my heart and I couldn't be happier. For as long as I can remember, I have always aspired to inspire. With this #BeautifulCrusade I intend to do just that. Hmmph!

Quitting my job, I have chosen to pursue the talents which I have been so graciously given... I feel that I have been purposed to help others as well as inspire and share my story whenever I can. I know my blog is only a small look into my world and what my life is like but beyond these words on this minimalistic blog, I have plenty to tell of my 21 years here on Earth.

I call this the #BeautifulCrusade because I know it will be a journey full of new experiences, struggles, and a continuous test and growth of my Faith. The journey is always greater than the actual destination and I am so very excited.

Always choose the path for your life that you want. You don't have to just accept what you've been given. We get comfortable and accustomed to the way things are and never take the chance to change anything within our power. Make and be the change that you want to see and I PROMISE YOU, you will be better off than just settling.

I'm unsure about what's next but I am definitely ready and excited. I will continue to blog my #BeautifulCrusade along the way.

::Sweet Aesthetics - The Last Stand::

 Figured it's been a minute since I've posted some poetry of mine... So, here goes it...

 The Last Stand

High noon…
The dust settles in the infinite space between We
No shadows to conceal the actualities
Wide open territories that remain unclaimed
Like the area where my devotion resides…

My heart,
So pure, so corrupt
Filled with tainted emotion
And
Half healed wounds

I love thee…

With naive faith that you’ll do the same…
But

In reality
You live gate guarded
Emotionally

And I can only be me
One in the same
With our without your soul’s presence next to mine

So
Here we stand

Separated

Amongst the debris of the broken hearted
And
Amidst the clouds of ambiguity

But I am certain that the population of the lonely
Will not include me…

I made myself available to you
To have

But my love, you refused to hold

Therefore, I make the testament that
Loving me is more than sufficient

Rather than a questionable future

With you

I devoted
Written
Line after line

And forgiven you
Countless
Time after time

And yet,
Still,
I am not enough

You took for granted my
Virtue
Violently
Victimized my
Visible
Vitality. You were my
Viral
Vice. But, I am
Valiantly
Vindicated

Justifying that
Which is
Unjustifiable

Clarifying my emotions for the sake of my sanity
And the RESPECT I hold for me

The least I could do is
Pack up my love
And
Talk along my
Pieced-together pride
Couple with the dilapidated dignity

You can keep the uncertainty…

This is all I have left
After I’ve graciously given you all of me
With nothing in return

I love you enough
Still

To keep some civility

I give you my blessings
And
Hopes for the best

You be well.

Respectfully…










 This is the last stand


©C. Renee

::Sweet Dreams - The Re-Introduction to Our Purpose::

I was over at Wayne Howard's blog and came across his post that really hit home to my current situation.

He mentions how he recently graduated from the University of Central Florida with his bachelor's degree and entered the workforce head on. Then he realized that he was unhappy in his career 'situation'.

Mon frer happiness, how we pursue thee...

So he took an exit from the job force and continued on to pursue his MBA. He mentions that he's taking the steps to get re-introduced to his dreams.

A lot of the time, we get so caught up in the Fight of Life and all that it entails that we lose sight of our own dreams, goals, and unique purposes. I think that's what I have been going through myself. I was giving in to the stresses of this job that I LOATHE ||<<Grinch voice||

I had to re-align myself with my goals... The things that drive me to do better and be better. I had to learn ME again...

I feel like this is a re-post of my post that I posted a couple days ago... #SoWhat.. My mojo STILL so dope! heh heh heh

More often than not, that stress is the push we need to remind us of where we need to be headed: In the direction of our dreams. Don't let the hard times push you into a corner that you THINK you can't get yourself out of. Always remember that YOU WERE MADE FOR THIS! Your book of life was already written, complete with character entrances, exits, climax and ending. You still have many more chapters to go before you reach your own fairy tale ending.

Mazeltov, #LoveAndHugs

C.Renee
 ©  #AmericasTweetheart

::Sweet Insight - Are We Not Who We Truly Are?::

Have you had some insightful motivation today?

Willow Smith impacted me today in a HUGE way. Not because of her new infectious single "Whip My Hair" (Which I am so in love with!).

She mentions in her interview with Ryan Seacrest the people are not themselves and therefore they are not happy. When we put on a facade to present to others that is not in alignment with who we really are, I believe that slowly we die a little bit inside.

How can we live and succeed at our own full potential if we're constantly emulating others or wearing masks? Why can't we be who we really are? What are we scared of?

Society has a mean way of making us deny ourselves because who we are originally isn't 'enough'. Who's to judge? Why is it always an impression contest? We all bleed the same blood and sleep laying down at night. If we even sleep at all. My guess is that if we're making ourselves out to be someone other than who we are, we aren't sleeping too good. Right?

In the interview, Willow states that she and her mother are very strong women and that she's been 'scheduled'(love how she said that) to always say how she feels and who she is always and confidently.

Love that little 9 year old.

She's so ahead of the game of life before she's had a chance to live it. I hope she keeps that level of maturity as her strong-hold of armour throughout her long awaiting life. And we should all take a tip and be who we're meant to be. And not a carbon copy to appease the fickle hearts and minds of others.

Word.

C. Renee

::Sweet Motivation - It's Impossible for Me to Fail::

I think I finally got my muchness back, ya'll!

Thursday and Friday were very tough days for me at work... I felt like I had had enough. And I did. I made a phone call to my BrotherCousin to get some insight and put things and perspective. He gave me a good talking to and some great career advice.

My mojo so dope.

I had to realize AGAIN that I am destined for greatness. All my life, I have been prepared and purposed to succeed. Every trial, every tear, every disappointment has put me in a position to fly above all trials and achieve.

It just took me making up my mind to stop fearing and start fully believing. I had to trust unconditionally that everything will be and is ok.

ALL I DO IS WIN!!! (lol)

I am too smart to just be mediocre. 'Mediocrity is excellence to mediocre people". I'm nowhere near that. I have made up my mind to fully pursue what's in my heart. No more excuses. I need to use my resources available to me and make a way where there is none. Blaze a path and walk it with confidence. I will not be denied!

I found my old motivation cd. It has like 60+ songs on it. It begins with "Dream Big" by Jazmine Sullivan and then goes into an array of r&b and hip-hop motivation. Ranging from Jeezy, Jay-Z, Mariah Carey... And ending with "Impossible" by Kanye West, Keyshia Cole, and Twista.

"I've been waiting my life/And I stayed on my grind/Now I made up my mind/It's been way too much time/That's why, It's Impossible"

For me to fail...

I've accepted and staked my claim on my right to be necessary and happy. I must adamantly go after what it is that I want and continue to strive at ALL TIMES! No sleep for the hungry when the refrigerator is empty.

Back to living by my ever present but at times more easier said than done mantra "Work.Eat.Grind.Shine"

Stay persistent and determined. Success is just beyond the horizon.

Much love,
C. Renee

::Sweet Battles - Destiny::

I came across this post that an old, good friend of mine tagged me in on facebook. He writes about the battle that destiny brings about... This hit me so hard in the chest that I was compelled to re-post and share. Read, meditate, discuss, share.

Thanks Niq. 


Destiny - Nicholas James


To put it honestly, I'm not happy. I'm up nightly, arguing with my destiny...praying it don't get physical cuz I don't view it as my enemy. Its almost like viewin me, but the present...he kinda look like the future me. I guess I envy he, cuz he look like me, act like me, well dammit he is me exactly. But where I wanna be, who I wanna see on the mirrors other side starring right back at me. I wonder how his life is when he leaves that bathroom..idk cuz once he leaves its hard to talk to him. Its prolly no second guessin or hesitation involved. I'm sure by the time I become him all of that is resolved. All the pain has evolved and the rain has dissolved...I bet he spends his days protectin it as this planet revolves. I can't stand it..I fall. I can't land it..we crash. I'm tryna do the impossible, like landin in a pool with not splash. I'm tryna get high, no hash. I'm tryna make a withdrawal...no cash. I'm tryna express a dream without having you laugh. He is who I want to be. I wanna be who I see every morning. I wanna be who you see when you look at me. But that's another impossiblity cuz you can't plz everybody. When I look at everybody else, greatness is what I see. I can see no greatness when I look at me. He is all I see...in that bathroom mirror...the future me..I would love to kno what he's doing when he leaves. Can someone PLZ tell me what he's doin different from me.....??

::C.Renee::

::Sweet Chemistry - Platonic Relationships & Their True Meaning::

I'm using this post as an open discussion forum because I've had so much back and forth about this topic.

Time and time again I've been in 'situations' where I was led to believe that a relationship was platonic but further down the line, it seemed as if there were ulterior motives from the beginning.

What are the rules of friendship as it pertains to each gender? I know that as a female myself, I have certain ideals of friendship, but they may not be the same for the male counterpart. It seems that there is this game of "Let me be the friend first to get in good with her emotionally and have her trust me and then, I'll go in for the kill. Hook, line and sink-her."

Don't get me wrong, the greatest relationships have been built from friendship, but not with two opposed beginning motives.

(I feel like I'm all over with this.. Shoulda structured my thoughts a little better before I took to the keyboard lol)

At what stage or point in the friendship should other thoughts or feelings be acknowledged? Lets say you meet someone whom you're physically attracted to. But that person says "I'm only interested in being friends. I'm not looking for a relationship." Does that mean that those two people can't have a friendship at all because of the way it was initially approached? How does this work out so that both parties are satisfied with the outcome?

A few of my male friends have had two varying theories. One being that platonic relationships cannot exist at all. The male will always try to find a way to make things be more than what they are or try to add a sexual degree to the 'friendship' (that benefits factor kicks in right about ).

Another guy says that platonic relationships can exist on a situational basis. Here's the example that was used:

"Lets say I have a girl. And she has best friends that come around all the time. In turn, her friends become my friends. Friends with whom I would never be with or even desire to be with because I know them on a different level and met them through an intermediary known as my girl."


I previously wrote about this topic somewhat from a more personal standpoint. I guess this time around, I'm just interested to see everyone's point of view. Let me know what you think and how you feel about this topic.

C.Renee

::Sweet Love - Soul Mate Definition::

Came across this blurb of an open love letter that actor Brian White wrote entitled ‘What falling in love with Paula Da Silva has taught me’. Beautifully written and humbly truem I decided to post because... just because! Do I need a reason? Congrats to the new couple and all their nuptial success!

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so out of control that you have to transform your life…”

 C. Renee

::Sweet Faith - Let go, Be happy::

All summer I've been going through this career battle. (As you all have read in a few posts) I'm in a position where I don't want to be. And it's taking such a toll on my soul that it's starting to make me sick... I get intense moments of stress... Longing for career and lifelong happiness. Wishing I was in a comfortable enough position to quit and do what truly makes me happy.

But I can't... I NEED this job because I have bills to pay and I have to keep a roof over my head.... If every one of my followers donated a dollar to the "Charrise, go head and quit that job, girl!" I'd quit lol. I'd walk away and motivate people. Not sure of how I'd keep a constant flow of money but I'd make a way....

I'm continuously being a slave to this dismal paycheck and it sucks dirty monkey butt... But day by day I get closer and closer... I'm so blessed to be surrounded by people who love me and keep me motivated. Sometimes all we need is an ear, a kind word, or a greatly worded blog post to know that we're doing ok and things will be alright.

I went to a networking event yesterday and I'm so glad I got the chance to get out. I really enjoyed myself and the company that was kept. I even got a taste of some Thai food (Word to @Tamore2382 and Buddha in downtown Atlanta)

I say this all to say that sometimes, in moments of stress, we must learn to let go and CHOOSE to be happy and look at the good things that we DO have and the things that are going RIGHT when it could be so much worse. In this economy there are many people who wish they could at least have a job. And here I am complaining about mine... Something better will come along. I know it will.

I have to take my own advice that I constantly give: "Sometimes we have do the things we hate now to enjoy all the things we love later"....

But why do I have to wait?

Do what you love. Be who you are. And have faith that things are the way they are for an ultimately GREAT reason.

Much love,
Resse

::Sweet Aesthetics - Decisions (Guest Post)::

 I am surrounded by so much talent and many great writers. One of whom is Deylon, affectionately known as @babebro11 on 'The Twitter' (gosh I LOVE when people say it like that! lol) Anywho, he has some very insightful thoughts and perspectives. It's nice to see a young man's point of view from time to time. He can be found at:

http://tangledupinmythoughts.blogspot.com/
http://www.thevoiceempire.blogspot.com/
Check out his poems and short stories as well as follow him on 'The Twitter' C-:



Decisions

I been watchin you as you watch dude
checkin ya makeup and fixin ya hair hopin he'll come talk to you.
In the club every week tryna find a man
acceptin drinks from fans but none worthy of even a dance.
Or maybe they're worthy of more than you think,
but you'll never give them a chance.
But this man can get anything you've ever had
and this is all just off a glance.
Too feminine to approach him, you just sit back and grin.
Pointin him out to your friends
And saying ever so drunkenly "i'm gonna get him"
But then again
He's there and you're here
And you're too scared to go anywhere near.
So you peer through the bunches of people on the dance floor
And here I am
sippin my drink
Henny on the rocks for me
and from where I'm standing it seems you're drinking a long island iced tea.
Your favorite color is pink... I think..
I can tell by your accessories and the highlights in your eyelashes that sparkle everytime you blink.
No longer just sittin in VIP
you up on your feet
partyin
movin to the beat
feelin the effects of the liquor, hoping dude will see.
And you were right, sure coulda fooled me.
Mission accomplished for you
He bought you a few more drinks.. you even got him to go home with you.
I wonder if he's the dude that's going to be your boo.
Prolly not.
You see he's married,
you woulda knew that too if you woulda just looked at the ring.
He left you in a bed of uncertainty
with just a sheet covering your nude body.
Making his way out your apartment while you were sleep
Not giving a fuck how you feel or what you think.
He even left a note saying "thanks for the ass" under a cup on the sink.
As for me,
I went home,
watched some TV, found somethin to eat and fell asleep.

::Sweet Realization: Thoughts on Marriage (Guest Post)

I came across this post via http://augustrae.blogspot.com/ and I must say that I agree... A lot of times people in relationships get so caught up in the 'idea' of marriage as the cure all, end all of problems in relationships... nope... no dice... We don't understand that we must first work on self and progress on our own before we can benefit together in a partnership successfully. I'm not saying this based on experiences (Never been married...Hopefully one day, though) But I have witnessed others and been in a serious relationship or two....

Check out Raekissa Webb(August Rae) and her point of view (click this post's title to visit original post)

C.Renee


My Thoughts
  I really want most people to know that marriage is not the end all be all to a relationship.  I think most people have this idea of what marriage is and that it will cure all relationship problems, but it WONT!
More often then not I see people in horrible relationships.  Horrible in the sense that it's toxic for them.  They no longer really like their partner; nor are they attracted to their partner.  Often times, within the relationship the argue DAY AND NIGHT. Some relationships may even turn abusive.  Then some bright idea light pops in to their head, "Marriage!" NOT!  I really wish people would sit down and think about what a union really means.
I mean, marriage doesn't solve cheating, lack of communication, lack of respect, abuse and any other problems one can think of that may combat your relationship. How is a ring and a receipt for your legally recognized union going to help?
I don't know what most people are thinking.  If your relationship has serious issues then so will your MARRIAGE! I just want people to think before walking down the isle with someone who's toxic to you.  I know it's hard for some to end a relationship that they may have invested so much in. For most, trying to invest that in someone new is just tiresome and unthinkable.  Then I would ask why spend the rest of your life trying to mend a broken mirror that is your relationship. It's your relationship not mine, but I just want people to think.
Before you can love anyone else you need to work on YOUR DAMN SELF! Read the previous sentence one more time.
So with that said there is no magical equation to relationships.  For me, communication and trust are the biggest factors in a relationship.  If you don't have those you are destined to fail.
I'm out,
K-I Double

::Sweet Ingredients - Interactions and the Make Up of Who I Am::

I read an interesting post today on Facebook that was re-posted by a friend a mine... The general summary of the post is that we are the sum of our interactions and realtionships with other people...

Now that I think about it... I agree. I wouldn't be the very person that I am, if not for my experiences, interactions, and relationships.

Because they all have helped raised me in some form or another, I have specific traits cognizant of my mother, aunt, grandmother, step father and cousin...

My closest friends, i pick up their forms of speech, some of their tastes in various things.... et cetera et cetera...

The way I emotionally connect (or disconnect sometimes) is a result of my romantic relationships and the experiences I've encountered with love and all it's... stuff lol

I'm very grateful for my relationships, friendships and upbringing... With every one of them, a little piece of me is a little more developed, a little more vulnerable, a little more this and a little more that.

We never really take a second to understand The Makings of We and who we are because of our encounters. If we all had a greater appreciation for how we've come to be, our lives would be a little more easier to understand, in regards to our interactions and understanding of self. Habits, traits, personailty quirks and so on...

I love who I am. I love who I've become. Because of my won decisions and uniqueness, coupled with my relationships (current and old), I'm me... Thanks guys...


C.Renee

::Sweet Reflection - Where I Wanna Be Is Not Where I Am::

It pains me deeply to sacrifice my happiness for a paycheck...

Maybe I'm a dreamer. I'll take that label as a compliment. I dare to dream and I dream HUGE! But currently, it hurts to say, that I'm not living full force within my purpose and my dreams. I work at a job that doesn't fully utilize my talents and satisfy my need to be fulfilled and happy with what i "Do"...

Many people are experiencing this very same dissatisfaction with their career or life and are being content. Saying things like "Well at least I have a job" or "at least I'm alive and well"... I get that. I really do. I am VERY greatful for my current position. But I honestly feel, no, I KNOW that I am destined for more than this.

Sometimes we become content and complacent with where we are because we're afraid of what would happen if we took that step to be bigger and better than our current situation. What steps would one take to get to that optimal level of happiness and success? How do you break the monotony of life's contentments and go for what you're purposed to do?

Faith? Faith.

I'll be honest with myself. I'm lacking in my spiritual maturity. I think that's why where I'm at is not where I want to or should be. I haven't trusted enough to let go and let God. How do we trust enough to say "Take the wheel, Big Homie! You go it!"

I want to... I really do. But it's damn hard. Does it take discipline? I believe I'm fairly disciplined but of course with all things, I could better myself and do more...

Every day, I come to my desk and die a little more inside. It kills me to slave to a paycheck in a career that is not meant for me. My heart and my passions for purpose are deeple rooted in something BIGGER.

I apologize if this post is a little on the sad end of the spectrum, but I'll say that I'm frustrated and confused. In a world of opportunity and expansive room for greatness, where do I start? I've made plan after plan, made connection, networked, lost friends, on track to be a published author, et cetera, et cetera... But I feel like nothing's changed and I need to do more... But what?

I guess at my age, this is where I'm "supposed to be"... Finding my place in the world and getting in where I fit in... Right?

But I don't want to fit in....

::Sweet Aesthetics - Could We::

 So I've been perusing the 'net lately and I've come across some damn good blogs and writing and youtube videos and... Just a boatload of GREATNESS! Last night I stumbled upon this piece by @Mentalorgasm on twitter... As far as I see... SHE'S A BEAST!!!! She also has a very thought provoking youtube that I feel you should check out: http://www.youtube.com/AncientsReborn. Hit the title of this post to visit the origin of the piece below www.re-genesis.tumblr.com

" Could We"


Me and my hormones just can’t seem to reach an understanding… I’ve been trying to be good, but they’re so damn demanding! I mean, I thought abstinence was supposed to “purify” your thoughts… I think my thoughts are dirtier now *insert laugh here*

::Sweet Realities - Introspective Progression: From There to Here::

Where I am today is not where I had been days prior...

Progression is necessary for forward moving evolution. I can honestly say in moments of misunderstood tribulation and downfall, I questioned my purpose and overall ability to be great. Then I realized that failure is more than necessary. How can you measure how far you've come if a low point was never experienced?

In the past year, I've learned an entirely new geographical place, lost love, questioned self, gained & lost "friends", been nearly homeless, all the way in-the-red broke, and so much more... And all of that was vital for me to become who I am at this very second and brought me to where I am. Without it, I'd be yesterday's Charrise Renee...

We, at times, resist change because we are unsure of what's to come. We lack the necessary Faith and Trust it takes to let go and allow life to take its course. There's only so much "calculated risk" and planning you can make.

Don't get me wrong, it's IMPERATIVE to have a plan, but you must know and understand that it is only natural for change to occur.

Progress is a process that happens at an entirely different rate for everyone. And my path for life is not the same as the next person with probably the same goals or polar opposite goals. Our experiences, highs and lows are tailor made to fit us uniquely. There's no comparison. And I'm glad for all that I've endured and somewhat excited to see what will happen next so that I can choose to think positively about whatever may come my way. I know it all works for the betterment of me and my purpose.

I'm at a point now where I know for a definite fact that things are about to happen and I may not be necessarily ready. But I am confident that in my preparation and readiness for the unexpected to come, I'll be more than equipped and prepared.

Live on purpose.

C.Renee

::Sweet Introspective - Matters of the Heart; Lost in Soul's Translation::

I really feel some type of way when people try to impose themselves on my emotions or on my heart...

Matters of the heart are not things to be tampered with or taken for granted. I feel that sometimes, I come into contact with certain people who I quickly become attached to or they become attached to me, we build a friendship and then things turn into something that was totally unexpected.

I recently experienced a matter of the heart where I met someone and become close to this person. Shared things with this person and formed a "Sister-ship"... Now there's nothing. Like the "sister-ship" never existed. For what reasons this happened, I am unsure... I can only guess from hear-say...

How does one leave things unsaid and unsettled? Is it that easy to walk away from an attachment of the soul that had bonded so close? For some, I suppose it is...

On the other hand, I experienced a different situation where two hearts where are two separate places. One heart on one path and the other on a totally different course. How is it that two hearts can coexist on the course to a successful friendship/relationship not knowing the other's planned destination... Or ulterior motive destination.

(This is my feeble attempt to be general without saying too much at the least. I hope you all understand where I'm going here :-/ )

Personally, due to past circumstance, I am guarded with my emotions and I'm not able to easily let newcomers in... I know this is bad. I know this... And I'm working on it. But how can I progress in this matter if from every which way I have someone making an imposition on my heart without aforementioned disclaimer? Why is it so hard for us as humans to just "be" emotionally? Is it because of all the missed signals and misappropriated interpretations?

A lot of the times, when it comes to our hearts, we see and feel what we want to and become victims to self induced heartbreak.







"As the days go by
I keep wondering why
You are so persistent
While I'm in resistance
It just keeps getting harder
When you force me to push you away..."

::Sweet Wisdom - Our Experiences Build the Framework for our Destiny::

Our experiences build the framework for our destiny. Every encounter, barrier, detour and positive outcome work together today to make us who we will become tomorrow. Once you gain that understanding, your ability to endure will expand ten-fold. Embrace today and everything happening right now because it is unique to you and the greatness that lies on your horizon. Your point of view plays a significant role in the successes that are ahead. So change your mind and change your destiny.

Stay positive, be better than yesterday and keep an open and clear mind.


Much Love,
Charrise

::Sweet Aesthetics - Forgivable {A Writer's Love Affair Pt. 3}::

((((First and foremost, Thank you Dominnica, for part one.....))))


=Forgivable=

Please don't apologize
for your creative delays
Or explanations and play by plays
About why you stayed away
Regardless of your life travels
I shall forever remain
That needle
to your vein
that injects imaginative thoughts into your brain

For you,
I was the foundation
For you to build upon
And become
an extension of your
ever growing palatte of
Life's intricate song
I was there to
carry you when
no other hands could bear the load
And
those late nights
When the tears would not suffice
In the midst of my lines,
your soul
I would hold

You were ever so inclined to
illustrate with words
An architectual design of
past emotions, present pains
and
happiness to come

When your analytical thought proecesses
Interfere with your inventive deliberations
I'll be your north star to guide you
so your mind never further digresses

I've proven to you
my devotion
time after time
gave you
line after line
when your ink's flow
began to get low
I embedded in you
my spirit so you could,
without pen,
poetically shine

I am the format for your
testaments, memoirs, and confessions
Sworn to secrecy
Left to decipher your integral workings
Like egyptian hieroglyphs
I am your lifelong manuscrpit
The
indefinite definition of adoration
in it's truest gift
1st Corinthians 13
Verses 4th and 5th
Not in the name of our union,
but in love's defense

Patiently awaited your return
never jealous as life's lessons you continued to learn
and
discern
from false commintments and
selfish tendencies of man
To whom,
In times of artistic confusion,
you ran
Instead of putting your sorrows in my hand
you went astray to foreign land
Yet,
I am not present today to recount your infedelities
I'm here to welcome you back home
and extend everlasting comfort and dedication
in your time of need

I never left you
I kept the same lock on the door and stayed true
To the promise I made
in His name
When you picked up the pen
and said
"I Do"

My rhymes,
you have and you hold
And even after death,
we shall never part
Through me,
your legacy will prevail and stand bold
Where my stanzas end,
Your inner creative has due permission to start

I let your
Linguistics speak now
And may you never hold your peace
unless at the will of your own written masterpiece
I'll piece together those empty holes
that you surrender to your own
intuitive defeat

As long as you stay committed
While these vows we renew
The diligent pursuit of my affection
will entail happiness for you

within me,
you found you
I was the hint when you needed a clue
And when your nightmares habituate your thoughts,
I am your dream come true

Please don't go searching
for what was never lost

We go hand and hand
Pen to paper, brain to man

And we shall conquer all, no matter what the cost

© C.Renee

::Sweet Honesty - I'm Not Perfect::

I recently had a birthday.

Which caused me to make some re-evaluations on my life and progression I've made thus far. Before this newfound "realization", I would always be so hard on myself for not accomplishing what I said I would, given a certain time frame. I would be hard on myself for making decisions when I knew so better than to do what I had done... But the reality of it is... I'm not perfect. My imperfections are written into my human make-up perfectly...

Life is about lessons. And learning them when it's time for you to learn them. If you don't learn the first time, another lesson from the same chapter will make an appearance in life's test until you pass with flying colors. I've come to accept the fact that I'm fairly young and I have plenty of lessons to learn; class is indefinitely in session...

It's important for me, in my opinion, to assess my mistakes and decisions so that I can see the lesson in it all and experience life's ups, downs, and uncertainties to it's fullest. That's the only way to live. We can't constantly be in a battle with ourselves. That defeats the purpose of falling... It would never give us a chance to get back up.

A really good friend of mine lives by the phrase and attitude of "It Happens"...
I never really understood how something so simple could be so prominent. If we all took every step and every aspect of life so serious, there would be no room for growth and experience....

(I feel like i'm being repetitive... oh well, it's a FREE WRITE lol)

I look forward to adulthood, acquiring wisdom, and making mistakes. My mistakes, my joys, my personality, my experiences, my encounters, etc... That all makes me who I am. If one thing were to change... I wouldn't be me.




"Let me know if you feel it, man/'Cause everything I'm not made me everything I am" - Kanye West





Much Love,
C.Renee

:: Sweet Aesthetics - No Dial Tone: The Call of Greatness::

::No Dial Tone: The Call of Greatness::

Within these words is where I dare to dream.

Dare to succeed
in the midst of a cluttered soul
I capture metallic linings
Amongst
Clouds of cotton in my intagible reach

These are my aspirations

That stretch far beyond
purple mountain majesties
and superficial birthday wishes
With the strength of the unknown
Carried on Alexander's shoulders

I aspire

To inspire you
to envision the unseen,
The astronomical caliber of your being
to be
The Greatest Creation put to breath and divine spirit
Refuse to mute your greatness
because then,
who would hear it?

Deny invading thoughts of inadequacy
and
Live amongst the moon so the stars may net you...
Carry you over galaxies
with whipsers of encouragement within the wind...

MakeManifestYourDesiresAnd
UtilizeThatOfYouWhichLies
deeply rooted in the
bellows of your soul that
e c h o c o n t i n u a l l y l i k e
H I G H F R E Q U E N C Y
R E V E R B S T H A T
F R E Q U E N T S P E A K E R S
F R E Q U E N T L Y

Ears ringing like persistant insanity.
Pick up the phone,
Greatness is calling.

::Sweet Wisdom - Progressive Inventory::

How do you know when you're doing better than you have been?

A lot of the times we "make moves" and stay busy but it seems as if nothing is getting accomplished. In goal setting, make sure you have ways of taking progressive inventory to know that you're doing what it is that you initially set out to do. Progress is a process measured by duly noted actions and decisions. If you aren't getting the outcome you desire then something is out of line within your plan and execution. Assess it and make change. Look to the sun and seize the day.


Much love,
Charrise
::WrkEatGrndShine::

::Sweet Wisdom - Challenges Are Small Distractions::‏

Good day everyone!

In our journey to Greatness, we will often times be faced with what we deem as bigger than life challenges. The key to overcoming these is to change your perception. Challenges are only mere distractions. They may frustrate you, but remember that they are insignificant in comparison to the bigger scope of things. Don't let something small digress you from achieving all that you are destined for. Greatness is on the horizon. Perception, progression, and positivity.


Much love,

Resse
::WrkEatGrndShine::

::Sweet Motivation - Trust Your Struggle::

My wallpaper on my phone is one of my favorite murals or paintings in Little Five Points here in Atlanta. It reminds me to not worry about my situation because everything is happening because of divine reasoning and purpose. #BigHomie wouldn't put you through the fire if he didn't make you flame retardant. Trust his judgement. Have faith. And...

::Sweet Wisdom - Live With Good Intent::

Happy Friday!

Always be aware of your intentions. Good intentions breed good karma and bountiful blessings. In your daily walk, ask yourself "How do i add value to lives? What difference am i making?"

In your career, your goals, your relationships interact with a sense of genuine care and purpose. Negative motives are easily noticed and intercepted. As Obama states "There are times when our actions around the world have not lived up to our best intentions", live with good intent, good actions will follow, and blessings will be abundant. Enjoy life and look to the sun.


Much love, Resse

::Sweet Inspiration Via @LA_HomelessGift::

So I'm sitting at my desk, and received a text from the homie @LA_HomelessGift. He's out in LA doin something that's really touching to my heart. Received this message from him and decided to share it with all of you. Follow him on twitter and witness his journey.

Much Love,
Resse

I just had the greatest experience of God’s Love.


I’ve been on Skid Row in LA 4 like the past hour just soaking it all in. I came across a group of people who were ministering to these two homeless men and explaining the bible and how God works. I stood with them for like 40 minutes and we ended it in a prayer circle as we all held hands. You can find God in the most unexpected places. It’s sooo beautiful that people took time out of their life to come share thrir love for god to those who need it. So, I’m spreading that same love to ya’ll. We are all fortunate to have life. So as my mom says “be blessed and stay blessed because you are truly blessed” :-D

::Sweet Wisdom - Embrace The Journey::

In our daily walk to achieve success, we must remember that every journey is not the same. What is intended for someone else may not be a good look for you. Often times we get so caught up in the way that things are "supposed" to be as deemed by society, we forget that our destinies are tailor made. As the adage goes, "You can't pick the cards you've been dealt but you can play your hand accordingly". Live so that at all times you embrace your journey and know that you are living the life that was meant for you and only you.


Stay progressive, motivated and strive for greatness.

Much love, Resse

::Polar Odds (Yea, this was for you)::

You are the subject of some


Of my best works of wordplay



My muse…



The sole source of this

Aesthetic beauty and

Shameless pain



And I love it…



So unorthodox

Catch 22

Oxymoronic love

All in the name of losing you…



And letting go of what once was

And should have never become



An

Us..

Too similar to exist as one

Negated opposites

By astrological design



We are inclined

And destined

For incompatibility

And deeply rooted infamy

At constant war

Voluntarily



Battling hearts and minds

A losing game of stolen territory

No level playing field

For I finish the beginning of your story



Yet

Here we are

Two novels that cease to be

Co-written

My love, a fairy tale

And with your suspense

I am smitten







©C.Renee

::thrill of the chase::

What is it about the chase? Why is it human nature to turn away something that wants you more than you want in return? What is the complexity that is the chase? I can only speak on what I know personally and from friend/family-speak, but we always want what we can't or should not have. Or more so, what is hard to get.

Let's say, hypothetically, two people date; person A and person B. Person A begins to feel strongly for person B. But person B is apprehensive to feel the same because the feelings came too fast and too easy. So Person B begins to distance themselves just outta habit of being weary of ::insert relationship insecurities and doubts here::

Person A then feels rejected and blames self for going hard too soon and then in the next go round of Love's Possibility becomes Person B.

I never understood the chase. Still kinda don't. What makes us become the hunter in the African jungles going after unsuspecting prey? Or is the prey as unsuspecting as we think? More often than not, the prey knows when it's being hunted and therefore prepares itself for the chase.

::i feel like i'm all over the place, but bare with me... Let me get this right lol::

If the prey knows it's being hunted, and the hunter thinks that this is a fair chase, where's the thrill? 'Tis not a fair game, is it?

Back to my main point, I guess. Why can't we accept love or "like" when it first presents itself in rare and sincere form? Why is it that we instantly become gate guarded emotionally? I think, it's because we know we're being preyed upon.

Who likes to be hunted, anyway...

::indisposition – Take #0859-AM615::

Damn

Has it come to this?

The deafening silence

Accompanied by the memory of your kiss



Insomnia keeps me from seeing you

In my Technicolor sleep



I taste you…



Or maybe

It was a hallucination within my reverie

My heart’s asylum

Love trapped within me

Captured by you



Release



Please

I’m begging to get back to some

Decent REM



Deep

Within this love defined

I lost sight of the happy

Perfection

Wanted to emulate mis-communicated expectations



Giving what I

Assumed you wanted



Never confirmed



Lullaby

Ease me

I’m tired

Exhausted even



Going above and beyond

I just

Fought lying down completely



While you rested peacefully

I

Watched you dream



Wide asleep



On the other end of the spectrum…

Me



Am I doing too much?

Wake up and discuss

This

Love thing



I’m up all night

Trying to figure



Where did love defeat me



Will I ever rest easy

Fully enthralled

In love’s sleep


©C.Renee

::that thing::

So, I read an article that Wale wrote about "that thing"... I felt compelled to give me take on it.

What is it about "that thing" that makes us so apprehensive to enjoy it fully? What makes us hide behind masks and clouds of smoke so that we lead ourselves to believe that we are untouchable by "that thing"? In my opinion, I feel that "that thing" offers a gift and a curse that makes a feel a certain vulnerability. Once we feel that vulnerability and get hurt by it, we close ourselves off to become numb to future happenings of said pain. I call "that thing" a gift and a curse because it's so beautiful and can allow you to feel so much joy and happiness. But on the other end of the spectrum, in the same breath, we experience the vulnerability of allowing ourselves to feel freely and openly. No holds barred. Authorizing the demise of our hearts emotion if given to an undeserving suitor.

But, in essence, "that thing" is a wonderful experience that very few are brave enough to leap out on faith and let occur. I think many get more so caught up in the fear and negative possibilities of "that thing" that they never really allow themselves to be fully enthralled in it. Giving half hearts and full suspicion.

How do we proceed to break the cycle of doubt? Is it that we have to trust that there is more Good in "that thing" than negative? Do we have to see the greatness of it in other situations before we allow ourselves to even think of experiencing it for ourselves? Or do we forever stay in a shell of emotional safety, never to make ourselves familiar with what "that thing" has to offer?