Time and time again I've been in 'situations' where I was led to believe that a relationship was platonic but further down the line, it seemed as if there were ulterior motives from the beginning.
What are the rules of friendship as it pertains to each gender? I know that as a female myself, I have certain ideals of friendship, but they may not be the same for the male counterpart. It seems that there is this game of "Let me be the friend first to get in good with her emotionally and have her trust me and then, I'll go in for the kill. Hook, line and sink-her."
Don't get me wrong, the greatest relationships have been built from friendship, but not with two opposed beginning motives.
(I feel like I'm all over with this.. Shoulda structured my thoughts a little better before I took to the keyboard lol)
At what stage or point in the friendship should other thoughts or feelings be acknowledged? Lets say you meet someone whom you're physically attracted to. But that person says "I'm only interested in being friends. I'm not looking for a relationship." Does that mean that those two people can't have a friendship at all because of the way it was initially approached? How does this work out so that both parties are satisfied with the outcome?
A few of my male friends have had two varying theories. One being that platonic relationships cannot exist at all. The male will always try to find a way to make things be more than what they are or try to add a sexual degree to the 'friendship' (that benefits factor kicks in right about
Another guy says that platonic relationships can exist on a situational basis. Here's the example that was used:
"Lets say I have a girl. And she has best friends that come around all the time. In turn, her friends become my friends. Friends with whom I would never be with or even desire to be with because I know them on a different level and met them through an intermediary known as my girl."
I previously wrote about this topic somewhat from a more personal standpoint. I guess this time around, I'm just interested to see everyone's point of view. Let me know what you think and how you feel about this topic.
C.Renee
Let me start by saying I, too, feel all over the place with some of my posts lol... I usually just spill my random thoughts onto the screen, and leave them that way lol... Who needs structure? Lol
ReplyDeleteBut anyway, my 2 cents... I think that when we meet people of the opposite gender, we usually know off the bat what their intentions are. Some people make it obvious through body language. Others flat out tell you....If a person says "I'm not looking for a relationship", my logical response would be take heed. If you can handle being strictly friends with the guy, and he's willing as well....all cool. But a lot of females (I know some in particular) just won't accept that. They think it's their cue to set out to seduce ol' dude. Fast forward, something physical ends up happening, then dude STILL says he doesn't want to be in a relationship...now female feels rejected. I just feel like if intentions are made from the beginning, the only way for feelings not to be hurt is to acknowledge the boundaries being set...without boundaries, the lines are easily blurred and/or crossed.♥
So what if boundaries are set and then the other party says they respect those boundaries but still tries to be in pursuit through the false acceptance of the friendship? Does that mean that they were led on? Or that they never respected the set boundaries in the first place?
ReplyDeleteI feel like if the boundaries are acknowledged and still person b chooses to pursue otherwise, that is a blatant disrespect and distruption of the proposed friendship... si o no¿? lol