The past two years I've learned some things about myself that can sometimes be looked at as a gift and a curse. I can be very passionate and quick to share my thoughts and/or feelings... And of course, as I've mentioned previously in posts, I can be a huge people pleaser. I've always trained myself to believe that this is how I'm wired. I'm built to care the most even when it isn't always necessary.
This sometimes catches people off guard. I'll say too much too soon, when I should really have an open heart, open ears and closed lips. Am I brash? No. Too quick to judge? Not at all. In need of a better filter? I'm not so sure...
I catch myself apologizing for my ways when they seem to make others uneasy, uncomfortable, or I come on too strong. I hate the possibility of creating barriers within friendships that didn't exist before or losing friends altogether for things I genuinely feel.
Upon further reflection and some earnest prayer, I'm accepting the fact that I am who I am on purpose. Therefore, I should make no apologies or concessions in order to accommodate someone else's feelings or insecurities. I know deep in my heart that I mean no harm. I am built to love. And all my actions & words are done and spoken, respectively, with that in mind. I guess those that I make feel uncomfortable may not know me well enough or may not be ready to accept that trait about myself.
And that's fine.
A long, long time ago, my mother would tell me that "you can't please everybody". I never fully understood what that meant until I got older.. maybe even still, I'm just now grasping it full circle. Her telling me this came after I cried to her about one of my best friends telling me she wouldn't be my friend any more if I was another little girl's friend (I was 7 at the time).
I've tweeted it continually that people are in your life for reasons and seasons. Original, I know ;-D. But on the back end of that ever so pertinent tidbit of cliche truth, we must learn that WE are in other people's lives for definite reasons & seasons unbeknownst to ourselves. All we can do is be who we truly are and hope that we play our roles accordingly.
At least that's what I'll be doing, anyway. Life is too short to be overly concerned with anything otherwise.
The #BeautifulCrusade continues...
Much love,
Charrise Renee
