It pains me deeply to sacrifice my happiness for a paycheck...
Maybe I'm a dreamer. I'll take that label as a compliment. I dare to dream and I dream HUGE! But currently, it hurts to say, that I'm not living full force within my purpose and my dreams. I work at a job that doesn't fully utilize my talents and satisfy my need to be fulfilled and happy with what i "Do"...
Many people are experiencing this very same dissatisfaction with their career or life and are being content. Saying things like "Well at least I have a job" or "at least I'm alive and well"... I get that. I really do. I am VERY greatful for my current position. But I honestly feel, no, I KNOW that I am destined for more than this.
Sometimes we become content and complacent with where we are because we're afraid of what would happen if we took that step to be bigger and better than our current situation. What steps would one take to get to that optimal level of happiness and success? How do you break the monotony of life's contentments and go for what you're purposed to do?
Faith? Faith.
I'll be honest with myself. I'm lacking in my spiritual maturity. I think that's why where I'm at is not where I want to or should be. I haven't trusted enough to let go and let God. How do we trust enough to say "Take the wheel, Big Homie! You go it!"
I want to... I really do. But it's damn hard. Does it take discipline? I believe I'm fairly disciplined but of course with all things, I could better myself and do more...
Every day, I come to my desk and die a little more inside. It kills me to slave to a paycheck in a career that is not meant for me. My heart and my passions for purpose are deeple rooted in something BIGGER.
I apologize if this post is a little on the sad end of the spectrum, but I'll say that I'm frustrated and confused. In a world of opportunity and expansive room for greatness, where do I start? I've made plan after plan, made connection, networked, lost friends, on track to be a published author, et cetera, et cetera... But I feel like nothing's changed and I need to do more... But what?
I guess at my age, this is where I'm "supposed to be"... Finding my place in the world and getting in where I fit in... Right?
But I don't want to fit in....
I've taken a HUGE leap to making my dreams come true ( I think driving all the way from small town Lake Jackson, TX to LA, Ca by myself is pretty big) only to be stuck in a small rut right now. I'm very thankful for my new job because a consistent income is definitely needed here!!! Nonetheless, I feel like its annoying every bit of my soul!! But these are the sacrifices you make and take, while STILL PURSUING your dream the whole while. I know I get annoyed (like today for sure!), but I have to keep pushing on and reminding myself that God has me here temporarily cause He's preparing me for something HUGE. So thank you for this post today, cause once again you hit the nail on the head!!! Dream BIG, Love PASSIONATELY, Be YOU ;-)
ReplyDeleteYou're right... I did the same thing (from chicago to atlanta with no family here) and I have so many things that I'm going to pursue it's just that right now there's a hold... As you said, I'm being prepared for something bigger, greater, and better... Sometimes we get frustrated with not seeing any action or results at the moment. "A change gon' come..."
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