Sunday, November 21, 2010

::Sweet Actualities - The Curse of The Gray Area::

Some people would rather remain in the gray area of mediocrity than commit to greatness...

Why do we set limitations on ourselves, what we can do, and our relationships? I guess more recently, I have been setting limitations on how I can grow relationship wise...

From a young woman's standpoint, we at times accept whatever we are given. Therefore denying our own worth and our inevitable advancement as young women. More specifically, we put ourselves in these "Gray Areas" of relationships. Not defining what or who we are to certain people. In turn, this allows people to treat us however they feel... And we have no right to complain because we let them. We give others permission to mistreat us.

Is it a lack of confidence in ourselves? Morals and values? Why is it that we take what we are given instead of setting a standard and having others rise to the occassion of our respect and greatness?

Recently, I had to take a stand. I refuse to accept less than what I deserve. There are things that I want for my life that can not be changed by settling for the beliefs and needs of others.

I choose to be selfish from now on... I may have to let some people go and readjust relationships but that's what it takes to make a difference in my life and the lives of others.

We have to take the initiative to change and break the stereotypes and "generational curses" that we have made for ourselves. No one will respect us as young, successful women if we don't respect ourselves first. Of course that seems so cliche but it's real rap.

Letting someone have relationship benefits but not the commitment is not love. Nor is it acceptable.

Conforming to the belifs, ideals and opinions of others to make them feel comfortable and deny ourselves is not love. Nor is it acceptable.

Allowing somene to continually treat you in a regard that is less than what you deserve is not love. Nor is it acceptable.

Staying in a personal or professional situation for monetary gain, benefit, or overall advancement does not make us any better than the next person trying to "get over". Nor is it acceptable.

We have been complacent long enough. Are we really satisfied with these self-induced "Gray Areas"? I'll say that I am not happy with it. When you're not happy about something, what do you do? Make a change.

I encourage you to do the same.

And to those young men who may possibly read my blog, Do yourselves a favor by rising to the occassion. You get back what you put out. If you continue pass over the good ones because you've become accustomed to the curse of the gray area, you have no one to blame but yourself when you end up in an "unsavory situation".

Get to know young ladies for who they are, their trophies of emotional war, and the goals that she holds on to for dear life. We as young women are more than our bodies. We are more than being objects of your fickle lust and desires and sometimely emotion.

There's nothing wrong with courting and dating in the proper realm for the pursuit of a woman's love and affection. If it is to be won easily, you've lost the battle for yourself in the long run...

And on that note, I advise and support change. Save yourself before others lead you to a tragic internal defeat of self-value.

Much love,

Charrise Renee

2 comments:

  1. I agree wholeheartedly. Gray areas aren't good. People always say that some situations/decisions aren't easy to make. I actually agree that all things are black and white when it comes to self choice and our willingness to accept certain things. Not deciding is in itself a decision. Not going the extra mile, not stepping out on faith, not going after your hearts desires are only gray areas because we choose to make excuses rather than make moves. Every decision and every gray area is simply our unwillingness to act. Lack of action alone is a decision. The worst gray area is the one where we become bystanders in our own lives. Passive attitudes in our own lives are what fuel the gray areas so many of us have come to live in.

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