::Sweet Aesthetics - The Last Stand::

 Figured it's been a minute since I've posted some poetry of mine... So, here goes it...

 The Last Stand

High noon…
The dust settles in the infinite space between We
No shadows to conceal the actualities
Wide open territories that remain unclaimed
Like the area where my devotion resides…

My heart,
So pure, so corrupt
Filled with tainted emotion
And
Half healed wounds

I love thee…

With naive faith that you’ll do the same…
But

In reality
You live gate guarded
Emotionally

And I can only be me
One in the same
With our without your soul’s presence next to mine

So
Here we stand

Separated

Amongst the debris of the broken hearted
And
Amidst the clouds of ambiguity

But I am certain that the population of the lonely
Will not include me…

I made myself available to you
To have

But my love, you refused to hold

Therefore, I make the testament that
Loving me is more than sufficient

Rather than a questionable future

With you

I devoted
Written
Line after line

And forgiven you
Countless
Time after time

And yet,
Still,
I am not enough

You took for granted my
Virtue
Violently
Victimized my
Visible
Vitality. You were my
Viral
Vice. But, I am
Valiantly
Vindicated

Justifying that
Which is
Unjustifiable

Clarifying my emotions for the sake of my sanity
And the RESPECT I hold for me

The least I could do is
Pack up my love
And
Talk along my
Pieced-together pride
Couple with the dilapidated dignity

You can keep the uncertainty…

This is all I have left
After I’ve graciously given you all of me
With nothing in return

I love you enough
Still

To keep some civility

I give you my blessings
And
Hopes for the best

You be well.

Respectfully…










 This is the last stand


©C. Renee

::Sweet Dreams - The Re-Introduction to Our Purpose::

I was over at Wayne Howard's blog and came across his post that really hit home to my current situation.

He mentions how he recently graduated from the University of Central Florida with his bachelor's degree and entered the workforce head on. Then he realized that he was unhappy in his career 'situation'.

Mon frer happiness, how we pursue thee...

So he took an exit from the job force and continued on to pursue his MBA. He mentions that he's taking the steps to get re-introduced to his dreams.

A lot of the time, we get so caught up in the Fight of Life and all that it entails that we lose sight of our own dreams, goals, and unique purposes. I think that's what I have been going through myself. I was giving in to the stresses of this job that I LOATHE ||<<Grinch voice||

I had to re-align myself with my goals... The things that drive me to do better and be better. I had to learn ME again...

I feel like this is a re-post of my post that I posted a couple days ago... #SoWhat.. My mojo STILL so dope! heh heh heh

More often than not, that stress is the push we need to remind us of where we need to be headed: In the direction of our dreams. Don't let the hard times push you into a corner that you THINK you can't get yourself out of. Always remember that YOU WERE MADE FOR THIS! Your book of life was already written, complete with character entrances, exits, climax and ending. You still have many more chapters to go before you reach your own fairy tale ending.

Mazeltov, #LoveAndHugs

C.Renee
 ©  #AmericasTweetheart

::Sweet Insight - Are We Not Who We Truly Are?::

Have you had some insightful motivation today?

Willow Smith impacted me today in a HUGE way. Not because of her new infectious single "Whip My Hair" (Which I am so in love with!).

She mentions in her interview with Ryan Seacrest the people are not themselves and therefore they are not happy. When we put on a facade to present to others that is not in alignment with who we really are, I believe that slowly we die a little bit inside.

How can we live and succeed at our own full potential if we're constantly emulating others or wearing masks? Why can't we be who we really are? What are we scared of?

Society has a mean way of making us deny ourselves because who we are originally isn't 'enough'. Who's to judge? Why is it always an impression contest? We all bleed the same blood and sleep laying down at night. If we even sleep at all. My guess is that if we're making ourselves out to be someone other than who we are, we aren't sleeping too good. Right?

In the interview, Willow states that she and her mother are very strong women and that she's been 'scheduled'(love how she said that) to always say how she feels and who she is always and confidently.

Love that little 9 year old.

She's so ahead of the game of life before she's had a chance to live it. I hope she keeps that level of maturity as her strong-hold of armour throughout her long awaiting life. And we should all take a tip and be who we're meant to be. And not a carbon copy to appease the fickle hearts and minds of others.

Word.

C. Renee

::Sweet Motivation - It's Impossible for Me to Fail::

I think I finally got my muchness back, ya'll!

Thursday and Friday were very tough days for me at work... I felt like I had had enough. And I did. I made a phone call to my BrotherCousin to get some insight and put things and perspective. He gave me a good talking to and some great career advice.

My mojo so dope.

I had to realize AGAIN that I am destined for greatness. All my life, I have been prepared and purposed to succeed. Every trial, every tear, every disappointment has put me in a position to fly above all trials and achieve.

It just took me making up my mind to stop fearing and start fully believing. I had to trust unconditionally that everything will be and is ok.

ALL I DO IS WIN!!! (lol)

I am too smart to just be mediocre. 'Mediocrity is excellence to mediocre people". I'm nowhere near that. I have made up my mind to fully pursue what's in my heart. No more excuses. I need to use my resources available to me and make a way where there is none. Blaze a path and walk it with confidence. I will not be denied!

I found my old motivation cd. It has like 60+ songs on it. It begins with "Dream Big" by Jazmine Sullivan and then goes into an array of r&b and hip-hop motivation. Ranging from Jeezy, Jay-Z, Mariah Carey... And ending with "Impossible" by Kanye West, Keyshia Cole, and Twista.

"I've been waiting my life/And I stayed on my grind/Now I made up my mind/It's been way too much time/That's why, It's Impossible"

For me to fail...

I've accepted and staked my claim on my right to be necessary and happy. I must adamantly go after what it is that I want and continue to strive at ALL TIMES! No sleep for the hungry when the refrigerator is empty.

Back to living by my ever present but at times more easier said than done mantra "Work.Eat.Grind.Shine"

Stay persistent and determined. Success is just beyond the horizon.

Much love,
C. Renee

::Sweet Battles - Destiny::

I came across this post that an old, good friend of mine tagged me in on facebook. He writes about the battle that destiny brings about... This hit me so hard in the chest that I was compelled to re-post and share. Read, meditate, discuss, share.

Thanks Niq. 


Destiny - Nicholas James


To put it honestly, I'm not happy. I'm up nightly, arguing with my destiny...praying it don't get physical cuz I don't view it as my enemy. Its almost like viewin me, but the present...he kinda look like the future me. I guess I envy he, cuz he look like me, act like me, well dammit he is me exactly. But where I wanna be, who I wanna see on the mirrors other side starring right back at me. I wonder how his life is when he leaves that bathroom..idk cuz once he leaves its hard to talk to him. Its prolly no second guessin or hesitation involved. I'm sure by the time I become him all of that is resolved. All the pain has evolved and the rain has dissolved...I bet he spends his days protectin it as this planet revolves. I can't stand it..I fall. I can't land it..we crash. I'm tryna do the impossible, like landin in a pool with not splash. I'm tryna get high, no hash. I'm tryna make a withdrawal...no cash. I'm tryna express a dream without having you laugh. He is who I want to be. I wanna be who I see every morning. I wanna be who you see when you look at me. But that's another impossiblity cuz you can't plz everybody. When I look at everybody else, greatness is what I see. I can see no greatness when I look at me. He is all I see...in that bathroom mirror...the future me..I would love to kno what he's doing when he leaves. Can someone PLZ tell me what he's doin different from me.....??

::C.Renee::

::Sweet Chemistry - Platonic Relationships & Their True Meaning::

I'm using this post as an open discussion forum because I've had so much back and forth about this topic.

Time and time again I've been in 'situations' where I was led to believe that a relationship was platonic but further down the line, it seemed as if there were ulterior motives from the beginning.

What are the rules of friendship as it pertains to each gender? I know that as a female myself, I have certain ideals of friendship, but they may not be the same for the male counterpart. It seems that there is this game of "Let me be the friend first to get in good with her emotionally and have her trust me and then, I'll go in for the kill. Hook, line and sink-her."

Don't get me wrong, the greatest relationships have been built from friendship, but not with two opposed beginning motives.

(I feel like I'm all over with this.. Shoulda structured my thoughts a little better before I took to the keyboard lol)

At what stage or point in the friendship should other thoughts or feelings be acknowledged? Lets say you meet someone whom you're physically attracted to. But that person says "I'm only interested in being friends. I'm not looking for a relationship." Does that mean that those two people can't have a friendship at all because of the way it was initially approached? How does this work out so that both parties are satisfied with the outcome?

A few of my male friends have had two varying theories. One being that platonic relationships cannot exist at all. The male will always try to find a way to make things be more than what they are or try to add a sexual degree to the 'friendship' (that benefits factor kicks in right about ).

Another guy says that platonic relationships can exist on a situational basis. Here's the example that was used:

"Lets say I have a girl. And she has best friends that come around all the time. In turn, her friends become my friends. Friends with whom I would never be with or even desire to be with because I know them on a different level and met them through an intermediary known as my girl."


I previously wrote about this topic somewhat from a more personal standpoint. I guess this time around, I'm just interested to see everyone's point of view. Let me know what you think and how you feel about this topic.

C.Renee