Lately I've been thinking about intimacy and what the true definition is. Within our daily conversations, the meaning of what it means to be intimate gets so skewed. I feel like I can't even mention the word because some one's gonna instantly relay intimacy to sex and that's not all it is...
Intimacy in my life has been lacking. Not just in my romantic relationships (mind you that is of abysmal void right now, lol), but also in friendships and my spiritual pursuit. Intimacy is, imo, a connection. Its something deeper than just a physical touch. Physical is easy... Being intimate, now that's something that takes consistent effort and maintenance.
Being back home in Chicago, I've gotten a chance to look at relationships with new eyes. Specifically those relationships that shaped my upbringing. My family has very different dynamics of relationships and I have the chance to see things from various standpoints. Especially marriage.
Then I was thinking about what I wanted for myself whenever marriage decides to make that ultimate appreance within my life. I know a lot of young women have this idea of marriage and we all want it. But do we ever really think about the true dynamics of marriage and what it entails? And what we will actually have to give in order for it to be sustained?
If anybody knows me, you know I'm big on friendship. Guys who approach me romantically lately get the turn around because I'm not trying to run into anything that isn't solidly built on the grounds of a friendship. Most guys that I get approached by are physically driven and not too much concerned with the actual meat and potatoes necessary for a successful relationship...
I'm in search of intimacy. I'm in search of that bond that two kindred souls share. The beauty in quiet observation. The beauty of in-depth conversation between two minds. I want deeply-rooted understanding. To know someone intimately is to know more than what color their intimates are (Insert girlish giggle here hee hee).
Whenever that time comes for me, I want an intimate relationship where there is comfort in silence and not awkward uncertainty. That's attractive to me. Love develops, grows and maintains within this type of intimacy, imo.
And again, I'm only speaking from my ideals. The real intimacy that I can speak of at this moment is intimacy with myself. Really understanding who Charrise is and knowing how to love me regardless what mistakes I make and regardless of who decides to not love me.
This time around, in love, I'm making intimacy the standard and not the exception. I think it is a truly beautiful think and I can't wait to positively know what it feels like...
Until then loves, I'm figuring this thing out. and continuing my #BeautifulCrusade at all times.
Much love,
Charrise.
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| BTW, I did the BIG CHOP and let go of my #NaturalHair... For now! |
in·ti·mate1
[in-tuh-mit]
–adjective
1. associated in close personal relations: an intimate friend.
2. characterized by or involving warm friendship or a personally close or familiar association or feeling: an intimate greeting.
3. very private; closely personal: one's intimate affairs.
4. characterized by or suggesting privacy or intimacy; warmly cozy: an intimate little café.
5. (of an association, knowledge, understanding, etc.) arising from close personal connection or familiar experience.
6. engaged in or characterized by sexual relations.
7. (of clothing) worn next to the skin, under street or outer garments: intimate apparel.
8. detailed; deep: a more intimate analysis.
9. showing a close union or combination of particles or elements: an intimate mixture.
10. inmost; deep within.
11. of, pertaining to, or existing in the inmost depths of the mind: intimate beliefs.
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