The worst thing about having a dream is knowing there are going to be obstacles & people trying their damnest to deter you from it.
I've had so much clarity & discernment lately that its almost scary... And I've had the distinct ability to know when something is it into my path as a test or a road block. Keen sense of foresight, right? But, the crazy part of it all is not having the strength or the courage or the freedom to face & defeat what's stacked against you.
I'm at a crossroads. Almost a year ago, I took a leap of faith and did the unthinkable. Now, here I am: handicapped by circumstance. I know exactly my purpose and what I intend to achieve. But being back on Chicago has proven to be a gift & curse. With my return came much growth; personal & professional. At the same token, I'm now at the mercy of those who love me most. They don't see me as a young girl who has grown into a woman while away. To them, I'm still Polly, Rannie Mae, Mook, Reese-Mo, Grandmama's Lil Sweetheart...
How do you make family realize and accept your personal growth & transition into adulthood? It's like I'm lost in the translation of adolescence and womanhood; infinitely forced into neutral.
I've lost my voice. My much-ness has been traded for the safety of realest thought.
I used to be so bold; full of action and audacity. I guess you can't have everything, right?
To whom much is given, much is required. I've prayed and asked for wisdom, discernment, discipline, faith, knowledge, determination, strength, etc... I suppose I never took into consideration how much of a load I was asking for and what would be my prerequisite in order to obtain these virtuous qualities.
It takes a strong willed & firmly grounded individual to set out on a journey of personal growth. And even stronger one to do everything they've been purposed to fulfill. In all of my progress & learning, the biggest thing I've learned is that I definitely have a long way to go from here.
The journey continues and is never easy...
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