I haven't posted in a while... This feels semi-foreign to me. Then again, writing is like air and I haven't had a chance to breathe in a while.
There has been A LOT going on in my life lately and I'm unsure where to begin. Growth and change is happening right before my eyes and at times it gets to be overwhelming. It's a mixture of excitement, joy, nervousness and anxiety all wrapped up into this journey of the #BeautifulCrusade.
Career-wise, there is definitely a lot of headway being made for myself and those around me. In the almost 4 months that I have been back in Chicago, so many great connections and progress has been made. But I'm borderline riding the fence of reality and blissful insanity.
I've been pulling 37-hour days to make sure I get everything accomplished that my heart is set on. This past weekend was a big emotional roller coaster as I experienced something of the same caliber that I went through last year around this time. And at the same token, my body is feeling the effects of long days with little to no quality sleep time and recovery. I'm a ball of confusion as of late but, call me crazy, I kinda like it.
Last night, I had a great conversation with some close friends of mine and it really made me see that I have a lot of emotional work to do. I've come a long way thus far but I still am dealing with words left unsaid and feelings unresolved. It's frustrating to want to move forward emotionally knowing that all other areas of my life are moving forward at a rapid rate. I'm playing catch up and it feels like death in a box. lol
On the flip side of trying to move past emotion, I'm also learning a lot about people and how we perceive them versus who they really are. Again, I have met some AWESOME people who I wouldn't trade for the world. These people are right in step with me in this #BeautifulCrusade and are witnessing & supporting my journey. It's a new kind of friendship that I've formed with some of these people that is helping me day by day get through asking myself some of the toughest questions.
In the same breath, I'm meeting new people and trying to be a good judge of character. Just recently somebody showed me who they really are and I have chosen to believe them. I will say, who they've shown themselves to be is not the same as who I thought they were... I now know which file folder to save certain people in based on how they treat myself as well as others. (Word to @AfrosNBabyHair ;-D )
All in all, I'm struggling money-wise. No doubt about that. Actually, being back home this time around I'm struggling the most than I've ever been in that aspect. But, I am having the time of my life! I am genuinely happy and more focused on my journey rather than my lack. It feels good to know that the direction my life is taking is only upwards from here. I've lived another day to share my story and be better than I was when I went to sleep last night. That, my friend, is a beautiful blessing to withhold.
Thanks so much for reading and supporting my #BeautifulCrusade... I can't describe the feelings I have. I am so overjoyed by what's going on in my life and within myself as a young woman that it almost brings me to tears as I type. I'm deep in gratitude, humility, joy, thankfulness, faith, strength and dedication...
hope you all are having a great week. Holla at me on "The Twitter" lol ;-D
Much love,
#AmericasTweetheart
@CharriseRenee
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