.::Sweet Beginnings - A New Take on a Familiar Life::.

New beginnings are always a good thing... 

Last year was definitely a learning experience with its share of ups and downs. I learned a lot about myself and discovered more about the young woman I hope to become. It takes a few trials to actually appreciate your purpose and all the things that are in store for you...

Just a quick update for pretty much anyone who reads this blog: I am currently back living in Atlanta. After a year in Chicago, I have been led back to where it is that I really want to be. Anything that pulls you back time and time again means something deep that maybe you can only understand. 

A lot of people inquire why I would want to come to Atlanta from Chicago, as to infer that it is some sort of downgrade... I have my reasons. They are mine and mine alone. But what I will say is that I am absolutely happier here and I feel safe. I think those are two basic needs that every human being should seek to fulfill: a sense of happiness and safety. Without those two things, how else can one live comfortably? 

Secondly, I am happy to announce that I am in a relationship. I've tried my best to keep it under wraps as a way to keep matters of the heart close and untouched. But I was reminded that I have written a few more times on this blog about my desire to be in a relationship and love unconditionally. So for those that frequent this blog, if any, please know that romantic love almost ALWAYS comes looking for you when you least expect it. And when it comes, you should never deny it. 

This year is definitely a new chapter in my life. Last year was growth. This year is about progress. And with any new chapter or onset of new beginnings comes a whole new collective of experiences, problems, people and lessons. Given my past, I know that I am more than ready to go THROUGH it all. From what I've come to and been brought through, I'm most certain that I am prepared. 

Even though I've been here before, it feels entirely different than before. My mindset is different, my purpose is more defined and I'm looking at life with a different set of lenses than before. The first time I moved to Atlanta, it was more so an escape. This time, it's more of an effort to build a stable life for myself and continue to grow as a young woman.

I'm excited. I'm ready. I'm loved. 

What more could I ask for?

All my love,

Charrise

::Sweet Introspectives - Accepting the Good, the Bad and the Me::

Self discovery was never meant to be easy, right?

The past two years I've learned some things about myself that can sometimes be looked at as a gift and a curse. I can be very passionate and quick to share my thoughts and/or feelings... And of course, as I've mentioned previously in posts, I can be a huge people pleaser. I've always trained myself to believe that this is how I'm wired. I'm built to care the most even when it isn't always necessary.

This sometimes catches people off guard. I'll say too much too soon, when I should really have an open heart, open ears and closed lips. Am I brash? No. Too quick to judge? Not at all. In need of a better filter? I'm not so sure...

I catch myself apologizing for my ways when they seem to make others uneasy, uncomfortable, or I come on too strong. I hate the possibility of creating barriers within friendships that didn't exist before or losing friends altogether for things I genuinely feel.

Upon further reflection and some earnest prayer, I'm accepting the fact that I am who I am on purpose. Therefore, I should make no apologies or concessions in order to accommodate someone else's feelings or insecurities. I know deep in my heart that I mean no harm. I am built to love. And all my actions & words are done and spoken, respectively, with that in mind. I guess those that I make feel uncomfortable may not know me well enough or may not be ready to accept that trait about myself.

And that's fine.

A long, long time ago, my mother would tell me that "you can't please everybody". I never fully understood what that meant until I got older.. maybe even still, I'm just now grasping it full circle. Her telling me this came after I cried to her about one of my best friends telling me she wouldn't be my friend any more if I was another little girl's friend (I was 7 at the time).

I've tweeted it continually that people are in your life for reasons and seasons. Original, I know ;-D. But on the back end of that ever so pertinent tidbit of cliche truth, we must learn that WE are in other people's lives for definite reasons & seasons unbeknownst to ourselves. All we can do is be who we truly are and hope that we play our roles accordingly.

At least that's what I'll be doing, anyway. Life is too short to be overly concerned with anything otherwise.

The #BeautifulCrusade continues...

Much love,

Charrise Renee
The People Pleaser

::Sweet Healing - Growing Pains::

I'm forever grateful.

Last week was rough. I had a medical emergency that I'm currently still in recovery from. Thank God that I'm here and able to feel the pain & agitation of healing.

Through my short years I have experienced more than the average young woman my age. Then again, everyone has their own limits and breaking points. Through prayer & listening, I've come to understand full circle that God has something really great in store for my journey called life. Honestly, I could've been gone. But, I'm still here. And that says THE MOST about His divine plan for me.

I'm definitely not trying to force feed my Faith or beliefs onto anyone who chooses to enter this Conversation. This is simply a gathering of my personal thoughts & experiences as I continue on my #BeautifulCrusade. I've never been one to be able to recite a plethora of bible verses & parables to define my spiritual relationship with #BigHomie. I'm pretty solid in knowing first hand what He's done for me AND what He will continue to do.

Every so often if I don't get a chance to have a long, prayerful conversation, I just find a way to tweet, write or recite the words strength, courage, faith, grace, wisdom, knowledge, humility, vision, discipline and discernment; a small prayer request for the things I hope to embody. With every encounter, circumstance, etc, I'm learning more & more that you can't be blessed with these things without being tested in some sort of way. 2011 has been a series of tests and I never fully understood why.

What happened to me last week was ultimately Him making sure that I was ready for plentiful blessings to rain down in 2012. If you keep knocking, eventually the flood gates will open & overflow.

Right now I'm sad and eager simultaneously. Pain was never meant to be easy. But with healing comes renewed strength & restored motivation to take on what's next.

This'll probably be my last post of 2011. I'm actually glad to end it in a way that is optimistic & hopefully inspiring. Through it all I have remained steadfast & resilient. I promise to myself that I will remain in that state of mind, preparing for a new year.

Thank you for your comments, prayers, positive energy, retweets, encouraging words and warm hugs. It means everything in this moment right here.

I live to love. I love to love. I was made for it. And I'm still here to give plenty of it.

Eternally thankful,
Charrise Renee

::Sweet Updates - Everything But The Kitchen Sink::

It's been forever since I last posted.

I guess that's how this personal blog thing has been going for me for the part year & a half that I've had it. Hopefully, very soon I'll get to a normal posting schedule. (Keep your fingers crossed)

The past few months have been a series of stress filled activities that have had me hanging on by a whisper of sanity. Not that things have been an ultimate nightmare or anything. I've just been stretching myself a little too thin, what with working 2 jobs & somehow pulling off a whole series of events in the month of October alone.

I'm definitely not super woman. Nor would I want to be. That'd take away from my human-ness, and I need that from time to time...

Right now I'm at a point where I'm getting a lot of clarity. As a new year quickly approaches, I'm forced to look back on 2011 in a way that allows me to actually see who I've become.

My growth is apparent. For a moment I was concerned about who & where I "thought" I was supposed to be right now. Upon further thinking, I'm slowly teaching myself to just live.

2011 was the set up for a stellar 2012. I'm ecstatic to experience what's next. I'm currently entering into some key decisions that will shape the next phase of my life & the young woman I am growing into nowadays.

As far as my emotions, they've been all over the place, as usual. But I'm pretty sure my heart is in the right hands. Every day, moment by moment, I am enjoying every opportunity to love a little stronger & deeper than the day before. This summer I learned a key thing about myself: I love to love. I live to love.

"Nothing but death can keep me from it"

Until then, the #BeautifulCrusade continues...

Much love,
Charrise

P.S.
Thank you...