::Sweet Healing - Growing Pains::

I'm forever grateful.

Last week was rough. I had a medical emergency that I'm currently still in recovery from. Thank God that I'm here and able to feel the pain & agitation of healing.

Through my short years I have experienced more than the average young woman my age. Then again, everyone has their own limits and breaking points. Through prayer & listening, I've come to understand full circle that God has something really great in store for my journey called life. Honestly, I could've been gone. But, I'm still here. And that says THE MOST about His divine plan for me.

I'm definitely not trying to force feed my Faith or beliefs onto anyone who chooses to enter this Conversation. This is simply a gathering of my personal thoughts & experiences as I continue on my #BeautifulCrusade. I've never been one to be able to recite a plethora of bible verses & parables to define my spiritual relationship with #BigHomie. I'm pretty solid in knowing first hand what He's done for me AND what He will continue to do.

Every so often if I don't get a chance to have a long, prayerful conversation, I just find a way to tweet, write or recite the words strength, courage, faith, grace, wisdom, knowledge, humility, vision, discipline and discernment; a small prayer request for the things I hope to embody. With every encounter, circumstance, etc, I'm learning more & more that you can't be blessed with these things without being tested in some sort of way. 2011 has been a series of tests and I never fully understood why.

What happened to me last week was ultimately Him making sure that I was ready for plentiful blessings to rain down in 2012. If you keep knocking, eventually the flood gates will open & overflow.

Right now I'm sad and eager simultaneously. Pain was never meant to be easy. But with healing comes renewed strength & restored motivation to take on what's next.

This'll probably be my last post of 2011. I'm actually glad to end it in a way that is optimistic & hopefully inspiring. Through it all I have remained steadfast & resilient. I promise to myself that I will remain in that state of mind, preparing for a new year.

Thank you for your comments, prayers, positive energy, retweets, encouraging words and warm hugs. It means everything in this moment right here.

I live to love. I love to love. I was made for it. And I'm still here to give plenty of it.

Eternally thankful,
Charrise Renee

::Sweet Updates - Everything But The Kitchen Sink::

It's been forever since I last posted.

I guess that's how this personal blog thing has been going for me for the part year & a half that I've had it. Hopefully, very soon I'll get to a normal posting schedule. (Keep your fingers crossed)

The past few months have been a series of stress filled activities that have had me hanging on by a whisper of sanity. Not that things have been an ultimate nightmare or anything. I've just been stretching myself a little too thin, what with working 2 jobs & somehow pulling off a whole series of events in the month of October alone.

I'm definitely not super woman. Nor would I want to be. That'd take away from my human-ness, and I need that from time to time...

Right now I'm at a point where I'm getting a lot of clarity. As a new year quickly approaches, I'm forced to look back on 2011 in a way that allows me to actually see who I've become.

My growth is apparent. For a moment I was concerned about who & where I "thought" I was supposed to be right now. Upon further thinking, I'm slowly teaching myself to just live.

2011 was the set up for a stellar 2012. I'm ecstatic to experience what's next. I'm currently entering into some key decisions that will shape the next phase of my life & the young woman I am growing into nowadays.

As far as my emotions, they've been all over the place, as usual. But I'm pretty sure my heart is in the right hands. Every day, moment by moment, I am enjoying every opportunity to love a little stronger & deeper than the day before. This summer I learned a key thing about myself: I love to love. I live to love.

"Nothing but death can keep me from it"

Until then, the #BeautifulCrusade continues...

Much love,
Charrise

P.S.
Thank you...

::Sweet Review - Sweetheart Conversation Live::

If you follow me on The Twitter, you may know that almost every Sunday & Thursday evening I host #SweetheartConversation. During this chat, we discuss varying topics; mostly life, love & society related. As I always say, I feel like these conversations are necessary for the growth & understanding of a people. We live in a digital society where micro-communication is overly prevalent and no one is spending quality time talking and more important, listening.

This Sunday was my first time hosting #SweetheartConversation live in a physical setting. We had a great turnout with people from different backgrounds & point of views that was essential to the discussion.

One topic that really stood out was if monogamy is a realistic ideal or if that's something that doesn't exist for the current generation. From Sunday's discussion, there were a few views that said monogamy definitely does exist. It just depends on the maturity level of the individual & what they're willing to adhere to & contribute.

On the opposing spectrum, there was the idea that you do or believe what you saw as you were raised. How you operate within a relationship correlates directly to your upbringing. One man said he's always had "something on the side" because monogamy isn't fathomable from his own understanding.

I totally understand both sides. But I do feel if you really care for someone & want to practice monogamy, you make the choice to do so. As long as you clearly understand the definition of something you can put it into action. Sometimes I feel that people use their upbringing as a a crutch so they can continue to do what they've been doing. To blame a single parent home environment on the inability to stay faithful to one person... I don't fully believe that as a solid reason.

But of course, we are all entitled to our own opinions & ideas. I can only say how I feel and agree to disagree.

Whenever I do #SweetheartConversation, it amazes me how many different views there can be on one topic. I learn so much each time. Those varying views help me to accept the differences that make us individuals.

Stay tuned on Twitter every Sunday & Thursday for #SweetheartConversation. I hope you'll join in on the discussion.

Much love,
#AmericasTweetheart
Charrise Renee

::Sweet Uncertainty - The Question of Greatness::

The worst thing about having a dream is knowing there are going to be obstacles & people trying their damnest to deter you from it.

I've had so much clarity & discernment lately that its almost scary... And I've had the distinct ability to know when something is it into my path as a test or a road block. Keen sense of foresight, right? But, the crazy part of it all is not having the strength or the courage or the freedom to face & defeat what's stacked against you.

I'm at a crossroads. Almost a year ago, I took a leap of faith and did the unthinkable. Now, here I am: handicapped by circumstance. I know exactly my purpose and what I intend to achieve. But being back on Chicago has proven to be a gift & curse. With my return came much growth; personal & professional. At the same token, I'm now at the mercy of those who love me most. They don't see me as a young girl who has grown into a woman while away. To them, I'm still Polly, Rannie Mae, Mook, Reese-Mo, Grandmama's Lil Sweetheart...

How do you make family realize and accept your personal growth & transition into adulthood? It's like I'm lost in the translation of adolescence and womanhood; infinitely forced into neutral. 

I've lost my voice. My much-ness has been traded for the safety of realest thought.

I used to be so bold; full of action and audacity. I guess you can't have everything, right?

To whom much is given, much is required. I've prayed and asked for wisdom, discernment, discipline, faith, knowledge, determination, strength, etc... I suppose I never took into consideration how much of a load I was asking for and what would be my prerequisite in order to obtain these virtuous qualities.

It takes a strong willed & firmly grounded individual to set out on a journey of personal growth. And even stronger one to do everything they've been purposed to fulfill. In all of my progress & learning, the biggest thing I've learned is that I definitely have a long way to go from here.

The journey continues and is never easy...